I am glad that everything is fine now.
雨过天晴了！

It became a daily routine.
Every night, after everyone's asleep
(family and friends), I'd spend the rest of hour
reading their blogs, reflect and think of what I am going to do.

Today, I reflected on things I really hate about myself.

1.I realised that making the right decision is really important.
(like duh! everyone knows)
And what's bothering me is, I suck at making decision.
So sometimes you'll see me being very erratic or rather
"grandmother grandmother, mother mother"(婆婆妈妈).
On the other hand, when I'm impulsive, the decision made
always land me to unbearable consequences.

2. Sometimes I care too much about my friends around
that I pissed myself. I shut myself up and show a black face.
Like when my buddy tells me what he/she did something lewdly with others,
I will think deeply why has he/she have to do that. Not that I'm a
Saint but I just get dishearten when your don't expect the things
your buddies did were far from what you think it is.

Dilemma: should I not care about my friends so I won't be pissed?

3. Split personality. (LOL!) Actually it's not lah. I just felt that
I kinda weird sometimes. I react differently most of the time.
When I'm with the clique(shuyi and the rest), most of the time
(I think) I'll behave in a crazy manner which often results in
someone(you know who) calling me "childish" or "monkey".
What's more weird is when I'm out with greg, sometimes I am
serious, funny, bitchy and crazy. If you were to accuse me of
split personality, I think it's because I'll take up different roles
depend on situations. As I am the only guy together with Shuyi and guys,
I find that I've the responsibility to spice up the atmosphere.
That's explain why, I behave differently.

4. Recently, I've been really "negative". (quoted from several
friends) No self-confidence, low-esteems and feeling lousy.
I think hard to think of something which I am proud of but sadly,
I am proud of nothing.

5. Got words, no actions.
:( shan't elaborate further. clear enough.
*look down at the tummy and grumble*

can you just stop growing.

Hahaha. I learnt from Adam Khoo that I should set
specific realistic goals. I'm 68kg now, by end of this month,
I must shed the fats to at least 65kg. By hook or by crook.


Okay too wordy. Let me summarise the rest.

6. Fat!

7. Low vocal-range.

8. Too tall! Then not cute anymore! :X(LOL!)

9. Non-verbal communication sucks as well. Lousy at expressing
affections (other than kissing and what's not) But you can't expect
me to go around kissing my friends and say how much they meant to me
what, right? *winks*

10. Basically, I hate myself for hating myself. (punny)

booo, okay...
to think, I've many unfinished things to be done asap.
-Singout logo!
-update student committee list!
what else?

that's all lah. boring wordy post.