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Credits

Layout: Swirls.
Image: Wayne
Blogdesign: Wayne

just jotting down my thoughts.
Saturday, January 12, 2008

been missing from school for three pathetic days
due to the fact that i'm having a bad sore throat,
irritating cough and nose-blocked.

these days were boring. and all I did for these three
days were sleeping intensely, skipping meals unintentionally
and leaving my laptop on to waste electricity.

today was awesome. went to friend's chalet and started drinking.
fortuitously realised my sore throat is gone. so gabriel was right.
drinking actually helps in curing sickness.

anyway, i have no idea why did I came in here to blog.
initially several thoughts were running in my mind.
I asked myself and find the answers in me.

I was thinking...

why have I changed so much over the years.

I still remember I used to be my parent's precious gem.
I will try to please them by being a good boy and do my
best in my studies as far as I could. Somehow I blame

my past for my present.

There were lots of if only (unrealitistic shit!)

  • If only I were born in a better family.
  • If only I were more hardworking in kindergarten,
    then I'll get into a good primary school and assure
    myself a place in a good secondary school and not
    those neighbourhood secondary and yadda yadda yadda.

  • If only I were sensible enough to know how important
    certain things i.e education, education and education.
  • If only I were born to be someone else who behaves
    like a saint.

    if only. if only we know our future.
    i cant deny that the future is unpredictable but i can
    say that our future is determined by ourselves.
    We can forsee, we can choose to believe who we are
    in the future and working towards it.

    but then again(here to contradict myself again)
    I believe certain things are pre-destined.
    you can choose not to believe in jesus, buddha, allah or whatever you worship
    but there is one thing I felt that our life are pre-destinied by
    the anonymously almighty one up there.

    For instance, in astrology...
    Some were really true to the extend that you go
    "wow! it's so freakingly true!"
    so do we born to follow what is pre-destined

  • or can our future is ours to make(sounds familiar?).

    anyhow, i don't care if anyone bothers to read it what I wrote or not.
    somehow I just felt better after blabbering all these shit out. and
    today is just the 13th day of a new year and I am already so grumbly
    about things. Erm.

    Speaking of new year...
    my new year resolutions are simple.

    1. change for the better
    (a year of bitching people is enough.
    afterall, it won't do me good if I feel 'shiok'
    express my thoughts so directly and hurt other's feeling.
    I promise to be a dumb dog and be nonchalent whatever childish
    acts people around me is showing)
    so the next time anyone feels like bitching with me,
    lets do it privately eh? :X

    maybe that's the best solution.

    2. (most importantly) enjoy what I am doing and
    feel happy about it.

    3. Excel in various aspect of my life.
    (oh yeah, time to set my priorities.)

    alright. i've wrote far too much.
    To end this post, I'd like to confess
    that I actually felt apologetic.
    Sorry to whoever I have hurt in 2007.
    (did I hear euphonium sound?)

    oh well. sorry once again.
    new changes.

    people, change~!