I remember when I was young, I was really pampered by both my parents.
And I know the reason, they prefered me than my two elder siblings.
They are always there to recognise my effort. I am a perfectionist from young
and I do my best in everything.
Perhaps that's the reason why they love me so.

However, there are things you have to sacrifice to get something else. Although
I have my parent's love, my relationship with my siblings is never fruitful.
They are jealous over the fact that my parents dote me more than they dote
them.

Things begun to change, my brother started to revolt when I was primary six.
He decided to leave home for a week. That was when I first saw the tears flowing
down my Mom's eyes. Finally my brother came back, my mom learnt the consequences
of favouritism which results in those unneccessarily actions taken by my brother.

that's when my closeness with my mom deterioriated.

to make things worse, my results in my secondary one were atrocious. My parents
drifted apart from me even further. I know there is nothing I could do but
to manage my studies well and excel in my cca to get back the love. I tried really hard
and I still remembered my mom was really proud of me when I was secondary two when
I was top 10 in class for both mid-year and final year examinations. However, good things
dont last, my secondary three results were horrendous that my mom almost give me up.
Fortunately I was promoted to secondary four but they were never proud of that mediocre
results I had gotten. A series of nightmare had befell on me, results werent good and I failed
my olevel.

words, care, concerns & love were no longer there. I decided to buck up again and get
back what I have lost again. I work so hard and my effort didn't go to waste. My results
for Olevel was awesome, they were proud of me once again.

Now that I am teritiary education, I set goals for myself and I told them about it. Fortunately,
they are quite supportive as they know I have been doing good and trying to push myself to
greater attainment. I guess if I were to fail my olevel again, I won't be able to get those concerns
from my parents.

My bottom line of this entry is...

life is like that...

sometimes whatever you do, people are just not satisfied with your
performance.

there is nothing you can do to make them change the way they react to you,
if what you do can't satisfy them. So why bother them when they don't even
appreciate what you're doing?


I may have a wonderful& supportive family but only few of good buddies
who are always there for me. Life is fair and you have to accept it.

But look, although you're parents arent supportive and appreciative of
what you're doing, your friends are always there for you. there are people
who are actually envy you for having a bunch of friends like them...
so, cherish them.

however if parents' care and encouragement are what you want...
maybe you can concentrate on what you're doing now. releash
your own potential. When the time ripes, they see your effort,
I think they will be proud of you and give you their support.
Remember you still have a group of supportive friends with you
in life.

:)

(post specially dedicated to friends who felt despaired with things happening)


alright, gonna end this entry.
Mom is nagging me to eat. tata!